Quarantine Diary #2: Sobriety in Isolation

So far the biggest struggle I am having is the ability to stay sober. I mean, it should be easy, shouldn’t it? I am self-isolating and only going to the grocery store when I absolutely need to, and not going anywhere else. I am conserving money by limiting my take-out and deliveries. So, being sober should be super simple.

Wrong.

In Ontario, they have allowed delivery services like Skip The Dishes and UberEats to offer alcohol with their meals, as well as started allowing alcohol to be purchased as early as 7 am. They have now made it 10x easier to get alcohol!

For me, that changes everything.

I am working twice as hard to stay sober now, because the temptations have now doubled. I can order fish and chips from my favorite restaurant, and it is nothing to add on a beer or two.

Now, my children are home, and I do not have the ability to send them away to their friends or grandparents house for a sleepover. I do not have the ability to visit friends where the amount of eyes on them increases, allowing me to relax a little bit. I do not have the ability to shower without worrying about them fighting or getting into things.

Recovery requires work. You will work at recovery for the rest of your life. Whether you are 30 days or 30 years sober, the temptation never truly goes away. It waits to sneak up on you.

Yes, we have crisis lines available, of course. But, us recovering addicts were also in programs, met with groups, counselors, etc. These are all things we no longer have access to.

We have to listen to people talk about how addicts are a waste in society, how unproductive we are, and more. We have to listen to how unworthy of life we are.

We get sober. We recover. We do better. We become better.

Yet, now we have to hear about how “it is not a big deal” that alcohol is becoming more and more available, and our temptations are becoming harder to subdue, by the same people who called us unworthy.

Addicts cannot win, in any situation it seems. We have been left in the dust by society to fend for ourselves.

But that is the problem, we are really do not have the options we had before, and in turn, some of us won’t make it through this quarantine.

Please, check on your sober/recovering friends and family members. They are trying to be strong and need your support more than ever.

Published by S.M. Phoenix

I am a Canadian, single mom of two girls, who writes.

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